


First Date Feels

by allonsyarielle



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Coming Out, M/M, Missing Scene, Patrick's POV, between ep 3x13 and 4x01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-06 13:14:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16388387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allonsyarielle/pseuds/allonsyarielle
Summary: After his date with David, Patrick starts to unpack exactly what might be happening, with a little help from his sister.





	First Date Feels

**Author's Note:**

> I've been sitting on this fic for MONTHS. I started writing it in July when I couldn't sleep on an international flight and kept telling myself I needed to finish it, but what started as a few one liners I wanted to use was turning into a big introspective fic and I knew it was too important to me to rush through. I had fun trying to get into Patrick's head, and part of the reason it took me so long to finish is because my brain kept deviating from the task at hand and wanting to fill in more of this relationship between Patrick and his sister. I really hope we get to see some of Patrick's family on the show because now I have way too many headcanons about what his family might be like from trying to figure out this fic.

Patrick just sat in his car for a few minutes after David went inside his motel room.  His lips were still tingling with the memory of the kiss that happened moments before. It was almost too good to be true, and his brain needed a minute to process it all.

Because kissing David was nothing like any of his other first kisses.  In fact, in the past, Patrick hated first kisses. They were awkward, and unpleasant, and he really always wondered what the fuss was always about.  

He’d always just assumed people over exaggerated those cliche romantic descriptions of first kisses. Foot popping, fireworks, dizzy with love feelings just didn’t exist in real life. It was all just fantasy. 

Apparently, Patrick was wrong, because every one of those cliche feeling he was definitely feeling right now. It seemed maybe he had just been kissing all the wrong people...or perhaps the wrong gender.  He hadn’t quite unpacked all of that yet. 

But now everything was changing. 

That kiss was barely more than a brief peck of lips on lips, but Patrick could feel it deep in his soul.  In the short time they’ve known each other, Patrick could already tell that these feelings brewing for David were different than anything he’d ever felt before.  They felt more real, and effortless, in a way that was both incredible and terrifying. 

Patrick wasn’t sure if everything he was feeling felt more authentic because for the first time in his life he knew things were done with Rachel.  After nearly a decade of their “on again off again” relationship, there was finally no more of her lingering quietly in the back of his mind. This time it really was the end and he was not going to fall for another one of her schemes only to end up back together again, miserable as ever.   He might have loved her at some point, maybe not quite in the way she loved him, but she was never going to be enough for Patrick. 

What Patrick did know, however, was that the feeling in his gut that had been building every time he was around David, or listened to one of David’s voicemails, grew exponentially the second their lips met.  It was a feeling like none other Patrick had ever felt before, and one he wanted to keep feeling again, and again. It’s been the happiest Patrick has felt for a very, very long time. And he wanted to hold on to that feeling. 

Once Patrick collected himself back together again, he drove back to Ray’s.  He was still in a trance the whole drive. His mind never really deviating from the thoughts of David, and tonight, and the kiss.  Their first kiss.

Patrick miraculously slipped passed Ray without getting cornered, which was for the best, because he wasn’t really ready to let someone pop his current bubble of warmth and happiness.  He started getting ready for bed on autopilot, but when he was done, he realised he wasn’t tired in the least. So he grabbed his laptop and logged into Skype for the first time in a while.  

His sister’s name showed up in his list of online contacts, and he only hesitated for a second before clicking call.  

It’s the longest he’s ever gone without talking to his family.  Sure he texted on occasion just to kwell their worry and let them know he was okay.  But his family had always been his life line. They had always been there for him. His big sister was always the one person he could talk to about anything and everything.  It felt strange that he was suddenly nervous to talk to her.

“Oh my god he lives!” Rebecca answered in lieu of a greeting.

“Hey Becks,” Patrick replied.

“Hey?  Really?  That’s all I get after two months of nothing but a few words in a text message?  We’ve all been worried about you.”

“I know.  And I’m sorry.  I meant to call sooner.  I just--I’m sorry.” He sighed.  He really didn’t know what to apologise for.  Other than he really  _ did _ mean to call sooner.  He thought after a week or so away from everything he’d go back to his life and things would be better.  What he didn’t realise at the time though, was that he wasn’t actually running away from something, but rather running toward it.  Running toward this, here, everything, David.

“Don’t apologise.  I get it. Things got…” she trailed off, letting the silence speak for itself.  They were both there and didn’t need to rehash the mess calling off the wedding left.  “Anyway, I’m just glad to hear from you now.” She took a second to pause and observe him through the grainy computer screen.  “You look good. I hope you’re good.”

Patrick let out a relieved sigh as a smile formed on his face.  Part of why he put off calling for so long was because he was afraid they were going to be mad at him for just up and leaving.  He knew it was irresponsible, but he really just had to physically distance himself from his past in order to move forward once and for all.  The ghost of David’s lips still lingered on his, forcing his smile wider. Yeah he was really glad he left.

“I’m good,” he replied. “Really good.”

“Good.”

They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes just soaking in each other’s company, while Patrick gathered his thoughts.  His sister knew him better than anyone else in the world. He could tell she knew this call had a purpose more than just checking in, and she was giving him the opportunity to tell her what he needed without pushing.  It was something he loved about his sister. She could talk your ear off about nothing, and everything, but she also knew when to just be there and listen. 

“So I have something I need to tell you,” he began, stalling a little more as he continued to rearranging his next words in his head.  Rebecca nodded for him to continue. 

Patrick hadn’t really planned on what he would say to her in this moment.  Calling her was both impulsive and familiar. Because who else would he call to tell about his date?  He might still be processing everything himself, and he might not fully understand what it all means, but his sister was also his best friend, and if he couldn’t talk to her about this, who could he talk to?

“I like men.”  He blurted out, pausing for half a second to try and take in her reaction, but Ray’s wifi was kinda crap so it was laggy and too grainy to really pick up any subtle details in her expression, so he powered on with a nervous ramble just to fill the silence without even giving her a chance to respond.  “Well, actually, I like a man, a very specific man. I mean, I’m almost definitely positive the same is true in the more general sense, I just never let myself explore that possibility until now and--”

“Patrick,” Rebecca cut him off.  Her voice snapping him out of his rant that was only going to continue on until he ran out of words or was stopped.  He snuck a peak at her picture on the screen and saw a smile on her face. That was a good sign, seeing as he just dropped a bombshell on her.  “I love you, you know? And that’s never going to change.” 

“I-Thanks.  I love you too.”  He smiled back at her, feeling a weight lift from his chest he wasn’t even aware had been there.  He hadn’t any doubts his sister would be anything but supportive and accepting, but actually hearing her affirmation was everything he didn’t know he needed to hear.  Things were going to be okay. He was going to be okay.

“So, tell me about this  _ very specific _ guy,” Rebecca lightly teased, which caused Patrick to blush.  Hearing the words thrown back at him he realised just how  _ David _ that phrasing had sounded.  He really was screwed. His heart was pounding in his chest.  His stomach was filled with butterflies. He felt like he was 14 again having a crush for the first time.  And he was really hoping the internet connection was too poor for Becks to see the dopey expression that was probably present on his face.  “Ugh, gross!”

“What?”

“Your face!  It’s all-” She fake shuttered and scrunched up her face making a “gross” facial expression. “But in a nice way.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen you quite so smitten.”

Oh great, so the bad connection isn’t hiding anything.  His blush was definitely deepening as he looked away from the computer sheepishly.

* * *

Patrick and Becks talked for over an hour.  He caught her up on everything that had been happening in his life since he moved to Schitt’s Creek.  He told her about working for Ray, about the store, and of course all about David. She might screamed a bit when he mentioned the man he was totally falling for was none other than David Rose.  

_ “Seriously? David Rose?  The same David Rose who once caused enough of a scene on an international flight because the lady sitting next to him took off her shoes and socks that it forced the pilot to emergency land before their destination so Interpol could come pick him up?” _

_ “Uh. Yeah?”  He hadn’t heard that story but it certainly sounded like David.  “Kinda surprised me too. But he’s different in real life. Or maybe the whole being forced out of the life of luxury has changed him.  Don’t get me wrong, he’s insufferable at time, but in a sweet kinda charming way.” _

By the end of the call, Patrick was feeling much more confident in his feelings, and Becks was promising to visit as soon as she could.  It was passed his usual bedtime, even if he still wasn’t quite sleepy enough with everything still on his mind, but he tried to get some sleep anyway.  He was going to have to get up as usual to open the store, since David had yet to actually be there anywhere close to their opening time. He didn’t quite understand the concept of store hours, and the fact that if someone (Patrick) didn’t come in to open up the store up, it wouldn’t just magically open on its own.

Around 5:00 AM, Patrick finally gave up trying to sleep.  He slept a little, but his mind was much too preoccupied. He needed to be doing something, anything, so he got up and dressed and headed to the store.  There still was a lot to be done in terms of unpacking boxes and setting out the inventory, so getting an early start couldn’t hurt. Plus if he was busy doing something, maybe his brain would stop freaking out about seeing David again.  He still didn’t know quite what to expect. He didn’t know what that kiss really meant to David. After all, David definitely seemed like the type of person to just casually kiss their friends and around 3:00 AM Patrick started panicking that he had misinterpreted everything last night had been and David wasn’t really interested in him in that way.  But then he remembered the way David smiled at him after his confession that he’d never kissed a man before and his eyes were all soft in a way Patrick hadn’t seen before. They really needed to talk, Patrick had to be honest and let David know how he felt. But that couldn’t happen for at least 7 hours.

* * *

Once the store was open for the day, Patrick’s heart jumped every time he heard the chimes above the door as it opened.  And every time he glanced over to see someone not David walk in, he deflated a little. He’d been so keyed up all morning about this meeting, he was kinda just ready to get it over with and know once and for all if last night was real or all in his head.

When David finally did walk in, Patrick was unpacking a box.  A smile escaped from his lips, and for a second, Patrick forgot all about his anxiety about this moment.

“Hi,” David breathed out, heavily.

“Hey,” Patrick replied, trying his best to keep his cool.

He could see the awkwardness all over David’s entire body.  David seemed to be just as unsure and uncomfortable as Patrick was right now, which was a bit of a relief.  Patrick let a shy giggle escape as David leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. He tried even harder to remain composed and not show just how affected that little gesture made him.

“So someone’s been busy.”  David gestured to the boxes Patrick had been unpacking.

“Oh yeah.  Yeah. Been up since five.  Could not sleep. Been thinking about...stuff, you know.  Last night.” This was it. This was the opening for them to discuss what last night meant.

“Regrets?”  David asked, leaning away slightly, as if he was bracing for impact of rejection.

“What?  No! Why would I have regrets?”  Patrick was surprised by this. He had thought, if anything, it would be himself who would be preparing for heartbreak during this conversation, not the other way around.  But from the look on David’s face, it was clear he had been freaking out about their kiss too, in his own David way.

“I don’t know, I think it’s just a habit to ask.”

This poor, poor man.  Who hurt him like this?  Patrick could not imagine a world where he would ever regret anything with David.  This just made him want to wrap David up in his arms and never let him go.

“No, no, no, no. I feel good.  Like a weight’s been sorta lifted off my shoulders.  It’s all very new, you know, and it’s a lot to process but…”

“Well, here’s something fun,” David cut in,  “What if, I, stayed at your place tonight?” 

“Huh,”  Patrick was taken aback.  Was he not making himself clear?  He was pretty sure he just said he needed to take things slow.  Maybe not in those exact words, but he thought the meaning was there.  Maybe he was wrong and this does mean something different to David. Patrick’s head was spinning, and he was almost glad for the interruption when Mrs. Rose came in because he was getting frustrated and afraid one of them was going to say something to cause this relationship to be over before it even got started.  Plus, they were at work, so it was neither the time, nor the place for relationship talks, which they clearly needed to sit down and have. He was glad for the excuse to run out on a tea run and clear his head.

* * *

It wasn’t until a few hours later, after things at the store settled down, there was an opening to pick up the conversation again.  By now, Patrick had also overheard about the  _ incident _ at the inn, so at least he had a bit more context for David’s proposition.  Still, they needed to talk and make sure they were both on the same page. Patrick wanted to give this relationship a chance, desperately, but he also needed to do it on his own terms and in his own time.

“So you told your mom about us?”

“No, I told Alexis about us and she likely told my mom,” David replied with a hint of annoyance in his tone.

“Ok, David, listen--”

“No you listen!” David cut in aggressively, then apologized. “Sorry, that came off waay harsher than I wanted it to.  I know how this looks, especially considering you just told me you wanted to take things slow, but me wanting to stay at your place it was more about what was happening at…”

“I know that now, and I’m sorry for assuming that you just wanted to stay at my house to… to sleep with me or whatever,” Patrick was suddenly feeling very shy and self-conscious and turned him body away from David’s, no longer able to look him in the eye.

“No, it was purely circumstantial,” David replied with a dramatic flair, “because of the dead body.” 

“Right.”  Patrick smiled.  Dating David was definitely going to be an interesting experience.  It’s barely even day one and they’re already dealing with this. He turned back to David and continued. “You know when you kissed me, that felt like my first time.  All the things that you’re supposed to feel, I felt them last night.”

“Well, if we’re being honest with each other, this is kinda like my first time too.  I mean it’s really not because I’ve kissed like a thousand people, but nobody I really cared about or respected or thought was nice.  So in a way it’s like we’re both starting something new.”

“Thank you David.  And for the record, I also respect you, and think that you’re a good person.”  

“Hmm, it’s just that I said nice person.”

“I know,” Patrick said inching his way closer, eyes suddenly drawn down to David’s lips.

“Oh.”  Patrick wraps his arms around David’s waist as their lips meet in a soft kiss.  “I just need you to say ‘nice person’,” David says, pulling away. 

“You’re a good person,” Patrick teases, only because he can see how much this is bothering David and watching him squirm is highly entertaining.  

“That’s not nice,” David replies as Patrick leans back in to silence him by kissing him again.  David really is impossible, but in an endearing, adorable way. It maybe be way too soon, but Patrick can already tell he is going to fall hard and fast for this man, and he is excited for what comes next.

**Author's Note:**

> Always looking for new people to yell about Schitt's Creek with! Find me on tumblr [aokayinspace](http://aokayinspace.tumblr.com)


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